Means to an End
by AddictedToBabe
Summary: Ranger has had to do some things on missions that he is not proud of. What happens when one of those things has some unforeseen consequences? Will Steph be able to forgive him? Or will it change things forever?
1. Chapter 1

**So this popped into my head and for some ungodly reason demanded to be written. I am still working on my other story, All the Right Reasons, but I seriously stalled out after some unfortunate turns of events in RL. I am going to continue working on it and hopefully have some progress soon. In the meantime, since this dialogue wouldn't leave me alone until I put it to paper, I figured I might as well share it. It is most likely just a one-shot, unless more comes to me… for now this is all. Love it or hate it, let me know!**

"When?" I asked, turning my back to him, staring out the window of our seventh floor apartment. An hour ago I would have called it home. Now I felt more out of place here than I did the first time I snuck in to hide out from the slayers.

Behind me, Ranger sat in one of the dining room chairs, his elbows on his knees, head in his hands, fingers threaded through his hair. The sheaf of papers in their blue backing sat on the table, the papers that destroyed my life as I knew it. I thought we were so happy. I thought I was enough for him. I thought he was better than this. What a joke. I guess all men are the same. Or maybe it's me. Maybe my mother is right and there is something terribly wrong with me, something that leads men to cheat on me.

Two years ago when a distraction had gone terribly wrong and the skip had me at gunpoint for at least 5 minutes before one of the merry men could get a clean shot off, my relationship with Ranger came to a head, and once he had his arms around me and I was safe, it was clear to both of us he wouldn't be letting me go ever again. I was assimilated into his life so quickly it was almost like I had always been there, and in a way I guess I had. I lived in the seventh floor apartment, I worked full time at Rangeman, the guys were my family and after years of feeling like the odd one out growing up in the burg, I felt like I finally found the place where I belong. That is until I accidentally found the results of the DNA test that Ranger had hidden in his office.

"I asked you a question, Ranger," I said, barely controlling the contempt in voice. "Don't you think I at least deserve an answer?"

"Babe," Ranger choked out, clearly barely able to speak.

"Don't you dare, Ranger Manoso! Don't you dare call me that!" I yelled, shaking I was so furious.

"Stephanie. Please just listen. I know I owe you an explanation. I'm trying. God this is so hard. I never meant for this to happen."

"Right, never thought you get caught, huh? Never planned on knocking her up?"

Ranger stood and was in front of me in two seconds, grabbing my arms and forcing me to look him in the eyes. "It's not like that Stephanie. Please stop. Just stop and listen to me."

I put my hands on his chest and pushed him back, knowing damn well that he only let go of me on his own volition. Trying to push Ranger around was like trying to move a mountain. Ranger's arms dropped lifelessly to his sides. I took several deep breaths trying to calm down. I don't think I had ever felt anger like this in my whole life. All of those knock down drag out fights with Joe seriously paled in comparison to this. I was overwhelmed with the betrayal. It was my worst nightmare come true. I knew I needed to calm down. I honestly did want to hear Ranger's explanation. A part of me wanted to believe that he had some explanation that would make this whole thing make sense, something that would make this terrible ache in my chest go away. Another part of me knew that nothing he could say was going to make this better.

I made my way to the living room and sat down in the chair. I purposely avoided the couch because I couldn't take it if Ranger tried to sit next to me. I was still trying to calm my breathing and get myself under control, but I was almost afraid if I somehow got the anger under control, the hurt and pain might take over and I'd end up a crying mess and embarrassing myself. _Stay strong, Stephanie, _I told myself. _He's the one who should be embarrassed. He's the one who screwed up here._

I felt a little bit better. I noticed Ranger had followed me into the living room, and was looking at me apprehensively, like I might lunge for him and claw his eyes out any moment. Smart man. In any other situation I might have found that look on his face amusing. "You wanted to explain. Well, here's your one and only chance. Better make it good."

Ranger sat down on the couch, turning a bit so he could watch Stephanie as he tried to explain the events that led up to what was clearly the biggest mistake in his life. "To answer your question, it was on my last mission. You know I can't give you all the details because it's classified-"

I interrupted with a snort and an eye roll, while crossing my arms over my chest. _Great he's going to hide behind "classified"._

"-But I will tell you everything I can." Ranger continued. "Like I said, it was my last mission. About 8 months after you moved in here. It was getting harder and harder to leave you." I had to bite my lip to keep from making some biting sarcastic remark. "I wanted out so bad. And this mission came up. Seemed easy enough. Ana and I had worked together before-"

I tried so hard not to react but my eyes filled with tears. Was this an ongoing thing? An old girlfriend? God how bad was this going to be? _Do not cry. Do not cry. Do not fucking cry in front of him, he doesn't deserve your tears._

"Please Stephanie, I can see you're jumping to conclusions. Please just let me get this out so we can talk about this?" I gave him a short nod, indicating he should continue. "This case was different though, I wasn't working with Ana; she was my target."

"Why would someone you worked with in the past be your target?" I asked.

"I'm sorry I can't answer that Stephanie, all I can say is that she had something she shouldn't have had, and it was a matter of national security that I get it back. I arranged to run into her down in Miami, what I hadn't planned on is that she'd be with two other operatives. They were suspicious of me from the moment they saw me. I thought the op would take me 24 hours max. 3 days later I was still waiting for the right opportunity and it was looking more and more suspicious. There was just no other way. My only other option was to abort the mission, something I have never done before. And I would have done that anyway, but they promised me, if I just completed this last assignment, that would be it. No more missions. You and I could be together always. Maybe someday I wouldn't have to look over my shoulder every two seconds wondering if some scum of the earth terrorist with a grudge against me was lurking around the corner waiting for an opportunity to harm the most important thing in my life… you, Babe." I gave him a sharp look, a warning to tread lightly with his nickname for me. I didn't think he had the right to be using a term of endearment given the situation. I was trying very hard to understand what he was telling me, but still it wasn't totally adding up for me.

"I am trying to understand Ranger. How was that the _only _way? Why were the two other people suspicious, but not this woman?"

Ranger started to respond and then closed his mouth quickly. It was clear he was trying to choose his words carefully.

"Just spit it out Ranger. No more lies. For Christ's sake just give it to me straight."

"Ana…well she knew me from before. She trusts me. And she was kind of distracted. That's why she wasn't suspicious. But she kind of expected something to happen. And when three days went by and I had been making excuses, even she was starting to get suspicious. I was acting out of character. I was about to blow my cover. It was either sleep with her or not complete the mission. "

Realization dawned on me and the nausea was so bad I almost wanted to run to the bathroom . But I was trying very hard not to look weak and fragile here. They had slept together before. It must have been a regular thing. That's why she expected it, and was suspicious when it didn't happen. Next thing I knew Ranger was kneeling in front of me, grasping my hands between his. I couldn't help it, a couple of tears escaped and fell on our joined hands.

"I am so sorry, Stephanie. I swear she meant nothing to me. My relationship with her was a long time ago. Before you and I were together. You can't even call it a relationship, we worked together a few times, and yes there was sex, but I never cared about her. I love you, Steph. And I am so sorry about the choice I made. I realize now it was a mistake. But at the moment, I didn't know what else to do. And I justified it as a means to an end. It was bringing me back to you, giving me the chance at the life I wanted us to have, free of my government obligation."

I pulled my hands from Ranger's grasp. My mind was racing, so many thoughts swirling around it was hard to pick one to focus. And beneath every thought was the underlying nagging feeling that I wasn't even sure I could believe a word of his story. "I don't understand Ranger. How did you have to sleep with her? Couldn't you have just drugged her and taken what you needed? Hell, you're like a ghost when you want to be, why didn't you just slip in and take it while she was sleeping?"

"I'm sorry, I can't give too much detail, but it was imperative that she didn't know I had made a switch with the item she wasn't supposed to have. She needed to believe she still had the item. She is also a trained mercenary. She's not exactly easy to sneak up on. But I was going to try. That last night, I snuck into her hotel room to retrieve the… item. I wasn't good enough, Babe, and she woke up. I didn't have any other reasonable explanation. So I pretended I was there to be with her. I am so sorry, Babe. I am so ashamed. Please forgive me. Please, I need you to forgive me. I will spend every day of the rest of my life making this up to you."

Ranger was still kneeling in front of me. I had to put some distance between us. I stood and skirted around him, backing away a few feet. "How you could you not use protection, how could you have been so careless?"

"I did use protection. When things started to happen that night, I tried to use that as my excuse. I tried to stop things because I didn't have a condom. But she had one. I used a condom, I swear. That's why when she told me there was a child, I thought there was no way it could be mine."

"How long have you known?"

"She came here about 3 weeks ago. I demanded a DNA test. I was so sure that the child couldn't be mine." Ranger said shaking his head.

"Yeah well according to those papers, you're a proud daddy." I spat out bitterly.

"Oh God, Steph, I am anything but proud. I would do anything to change this situation. But I can't. I made a horrible mistake. But you are my life. Please tell me we can get past this."

The worst part was I still loved this man who was begging me for forgiveness. And I wanted so badly to give it to him. I closed my eyes and tried to understand, to believe it was just a mistake. But all I could see were images of him, my Ranger, kissing another woman, touching another woman. I felt sick. I had to get out of there.

"I can't do this, Ranger. I have to go." As turned towards the door, he stood up and grabbed my hand, bringing it up to hold against his chest.

"No! You can't leave. We can get past this. I love you so much and I know you love me. We belong together, Steph. What we have is special. This doesn't have to be the end!"

I could see tears in his eyes and all I could think was, _Wow Batman doesn't cry._ It seemed so unlike him. I was confused. I didn't know if I wanted to slap him or comfort him, and maybe even a little part of me still wanted him to comfort me. But above all the confusion in my head, one emotion became clear and overriding of everything else. I no longer trusted this man. He was no longer the one place that I felt safe and loved. It somehow made this whole life I had created, not just with him, but with the company and our friends, it made it all seem like a lie somehow.

"You know Ranger, maybe if you had come back from that assignment, and told me what happen, maybe if you had tried to explain why you did what you did… It would have hurt, don't get me wrong, and I still would have been angry. But maybe I could have understood. Maybe if I had known then how sorry you were and that you would never be put in that situation again, maybe I could have forgiven and we could have moved past it. I don't know. But Ranger, you've lied to me for nearly a year and a half. You've known for three weeks that there was a possibility you fathered a child, and have you said one word to me? No. I have no idea how long you've had those DNA results in your desk, but I am convinced you were at least considering trying to keep this from me indefinitely, and I say "considering" but more than likely you were actively taking steps to permanently conceal this from me. If I hadn't found those papers by accident, you would have kept on lying to me. That's what I can't forgive. You made a fool out of me Ranger. I can't, and I won't forgive you for it."

"But I didn't-"

"Stop right there," I said cutting him off by holding up my hand, "If you're about to give me some lame excuse about how you didn't lie, you just didn't tell me, then save it and don't insult my intelligence. We both know it's the same thing in this situation. I've put up with a lot of secrecy from you Ranger, because I always trusted you to tell me the things that I really needed to know. Obviously that trust was misplaced. "

I walked towards the door, grabbed my purse and a set of keys from the table. "I'll come back and get my things sometime in the next few days. I would appreciate it if you weren't here when I come back. I'll call the control room ahead of time. I'm going to take one of the Broncos, but I will return it as soon as I can arrange for a car of my own." I opened the door and walked out without looking back. I heard Ranger call my name again, but I kept walking, taking the stairs because this was definitely not the time to stand around waiting for the elevator. My heart was breaking, or more accurately broken, shattered into a million pieces. But I was holding my head high. I wouldn't let any man, not even Ranger Manoso get the best of me.

Meanwhile upstairs, Ranger starred silently at the closed door in front of him. For the first time in a long time, he felt completely lost. He had no idea what to do. Suddenly the anger and rage at the situation bubbled up inside him and overflowed. He grabbed the closest piece of furniture and threw the dining chair across the room sending shards of wood in all directions. His heart, his soul, his whole life had just walked out the door. And apparently he had fathered a child with an enemy of the state. What in the hell was he going to do now?


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, I was convinced to continue this story. Not a whole lot of movement in this chapter, but setting up for some exciting events in future chapters. I have a rough idea of where to go with this story, but I always love suggestions too. Oh and I forgot last time… I don't own anything and I'm not making any money. One last thing, a warning for language, Tank and Ranger really have potty mouths! I changed the rating to M for language and adult themes.**

I pulled out on to Haywood and started driving aimlessly. I had no idea where to go. I'd long since given up my apartment. Going to my parent's house was out of the question, I couldn't take the "I told you so" I know my mother was just dying to dish up. That also ruled out Joe's, not only for that reason, but also because even though we remained friends it just seemed wrong to run to him about something going on between Ranger and I. I couldn't go to Mary Lou's and be around Lenny and the kids right now. Just thinking about children brought on another onslaught of pain in my chest. Ranger fathered another child. It was just so hard to wrap my head around. It dawned on me that I didn't even know if it was a little boy or a girl.

Finally it was too much for me. I pulled the car over to the side of the road and just sobbed. I cried so hard I couldn't breathe. I cried for all the memories that Ranger and I had shared, and I cried for all the memories that I had hoped we would share in the future that would now never be. One of the hardest things about this situation was realizing how much I tried to pretend that I didn't want certain things from Ranger because I didn't believe he could give them to me, when deep down maybe I really did want those things. I really tried not to think about having kids with Ranger, because he had made it clear that there was no place in his life for more children. But knowing that he now shared another child with someone else, well I couldn't even try to fool myself into thinking that there wasn't a part of me that desperately wanted to have Ranger's child. To bring a life into this world that was born of the love we share. Shared. It was going to take some getting used to, remembering that everything that I had been so sure of in my life this morning was no longer reality for me.

As the tears started to slow, the full impact of how much had changed started to hit me. I had no place to live. I doubt I could continue to work at Rangeman and see him every day. Oh God, what if he moved her into the building. Is he going to marry her like he did Rachel? _Whoa, slow down Stephanie, you're getting way ahead of yourself_. I couldn't even think straight. I needed to clear my head. There was no way I was going to be able to make any decisions in my current state. I knew where I wanted to go. Now I just had to figure out how to get there without being tracked. I needed some time alone.

The first thing I did was drive to the nearest ATM and take out as much money as I could, but it was only $500. I then went to a convenience store and bought a prepaid cell phone. I drove to the bonds office and parked, and then I called Mooner. It was almost 11:00 at night but I figured he'd still be up.

"Hey Mooner. How's it going?"

"What's up, Steph? Me and Dougie just were just working on our costumes for the Trekkie Convention in Hoboken next week."

"Sounds like fun. Hey, you or Dougie don't happen to have an extra vehicle in the back you've been trying to offload do you?"

"Well it just so happens we've got this little S-10 pick-up available. Why, you send another one to car heaven and need a new set of wheels?"

"Something like that. Can I ask you a huge favor? Can you drive it over to the bonds office and pick me up? I will drop you off back home."

"Sure Dudette, I'll be there in like, fifteen minutes."

I disconnected the call and waited for Mooner. Half an hour later he pulled into the spot next to me. Mooner never was all that good at being on time, but I was just glad he came at all and was able to help me. I left my Rangeman cell phone, purse and keys in the Bronco, only taking my cash, ID, bank cards and checkbook. I locked the Bronco, knowing that Rangeman had multiple sets of keys they could use when they came to retrieve the car. I hopped into the truck with Mooner and I tried to make my best attempt at a smile.

"Hey Mooner, Thanks for coming."

"Anytime, dudette," He said, looking at me with concern. I tried to do some damage control while I waited for him, but I knew my eyes were still puffy and red. I looked like crap. "Everything okay, Steph?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Mooner. I just need to get away for a little while." With that I turned and looked out the window and the rest of the ride was filled with an awkward silence. I could tell Mooner wanted to ask more, but didn't, and for that I was grateful.

When we pulled up outside his house, I pulled out my checkbook and asked, "How much for the truck?"

"Don't worry about it Dudette," Mooner said. "We'll settle up another time."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. You've always been good to me. Is there anything else I can do to help? Do you need a place to crash?"

"No Mooner, but thanks for offering. You're a good friend."

I walked around to the driver's side and hugged Mooner before watching him make his way back into the house. Then I settled into the driver's seat and headed in the direction of Point Pleasant. Something about the beach just always seemed to make everything better for me.

RPOV

I had been beating the shit out of this bag for going on three hours. It wasn't making me feel the least bit better. But at least the physical exertion was keeping me from demolishing the entire building. For the first 45 minutes after Stephanie left, I broke half the furniture in our apartment. Then I collapsed on the floor and balled like a fucking baby. It was pathetic. When I finally pulled myself together, I knew sleep wasn't even a possibility, so I came down to the gym to try and either work myself into exhaustion or find my zone and figure out a way to fix this. Right now I was pretty sure I was closer to exhaustion than any kind of solution.

I glanced at the clock. It was almost 6:00 am. That's strange, where are the guys who usually work out before the morning shift. Glancing around I was surprised to see Tank leaning against the far wall with his arms crossed over his chest. Just as I was thinking_ Gotta be more aware of my surroundings,_ the bag swung back and knocked me on my ass while my head was turned looking at Tank.

I heard Tank's booming laughter from across the room. My muscles were so sore I couldn't even get up off the floor, so I crawled over to the wall and pulled myself to a sitting position leaning back against the wall. Tank walked over and handed me a cold bottle of water before sliding down the wall to sit beside me.

"Where is everybody?" I asked him.

"They were all afraid to come in here. Saw the way you were beating the shit out of that bag and decided to steer clear in case you decided you wanted some time on the mats."  
Ranger grunted thinking that given the condition he was in he would probably be the one to get his ass kicked.

"What the hell is going on, man?" Tank asked.

"I fucked up."

"Well, that's obvious, but could you be a little more specific?"

I rolled my head first to the left, then to the right stretching my sore neck muscles. I wasn't sure how much I wanted to tell Tank. Part of me wanted to spill my guts but another part of me knew Tank would be very angry with me about what I had done. Tank has never been like the other guys and the way I used to be, he didn't believe in sleeping around. Always believed women should be cherished and treated like they were special. And I had the most special woman there was and I did the unthinkable to her. Worst part is, I knew. I knew how much The Dick had hurt her. And I went and did the same thing only this was ten times worse because now there was a child involved.

"I don't want to talk about it." Yeah, I was taking the coward's way out. So what.

"Too fucking bad, _Carlos,_" Tank said, using my given name just to annoy me. "Something is going on here, and that something is definitely not good. It's affecting you, my friend and business partner, and its affecting Stephanie, who is like a little sister to all of us. That means it's affecting all the guys, which affects our business. So I don't really give a shit that you don't feel like chatting. Now tell me what the hell happened last night!"

"How the hell does anyone even know something happened?" I asked, feeling my resolve not to talk about it weakening.

"Well, let's see. At 15:00 yesterday, Stephanie left her desk and went into your office looking for a jump drive. Six minutes later she exited your office looking like someone just ran over her hamster and went straight up to seven. She didn't return to her desk, didn't finish the search she was working on, didn't even log off her computer which is all very unusual for her. At 21:00 you returned to Haywood and went up to seven. Then at 22:00, Steph leaves by way of the stairs. She walked down seven flights of stairs Ranger, the girl who keeps a minifridge under her desk so she doesn't have to walk the thirty feet to the breakroom to get a drink, took seven flights of stairs. And she never came back. Then you're down here tearing into that bag for three hours like that bag insulted your mother. The whole fucking building knows something is wrong Ranger. Come on, tell me what it is, maybe I can help."

Sometimes living in a monitored secure building really blows.

"God, Tank. I screwed up so bad. I don't even know how to tell you what I did."

"Come on it can't be that bad. It's not like she caught you on the dining room table with Joyce Barnhardt." Tank said with a snort.

My chin hit my chest. "It wasn't Joyce and it wasn't the dining room table." I said quietly.

Tanks head snapped up and he looked at me with wide eyes. "You've got to be fucking kidding me! You cheated on Bomber? What the fuck is wrong with you!" Tank yelled.

Yeah this wasn't going well. "Tank, nothing you can say to me will be any worse than what I've already said to myself. But if it's all the same to you I'd rather not hear it all again."

"I just don't understand. I thought you loved her. How the hell could you do that to her?" Tank asked shaking his head.

"It was that damn last mission man. You know the more I try to explain this the dumber it sounds even to me."

"Well, you better try, man. Just start at the beginning."

"When I got the call for that last mission, it seemed like it was going to be so easy. I still had a year left on my contract, but my handler said if I completed that assignment, I'd be out. Free. I wanted that so bad. I just wanted to be with Steph all the time. The mission, it was Ana-"

"Shit" Tank muttered under his breath.

"Yeah, thing is, she was my target. She turned. She was trying to sell some intel to the Iranians. My objective was to switch the disks she was carrying. The agency didn't want her to suspect the switch they wanted to monitor the drop, but couldn't risk the sensitive information actually reaching the other side."

"So you slept with her to get the intel? What the hell were you thinking?" Tank questioned me.

"It wasn't like that. I tried several other ways; the two agents she was with were very suspicious. And you know Ana, she was all over me every time we were alone. I had decided to try and break into her hotel room while she was sleeping, but she woke up. Thought I was there for sex, like old times. I thought about just walking out, aborting the mission. But they promised me my freedom. I just wanted it to all be over. God, the more I try to explain it the more my reasoning sounds so stupid."

"I can't lie to you, man. It was a very stupid thing to do. I'm really surprised at you. But I can see you're obviously beating yourself up, so I don't feel the need to pile more guilt on you. But how in the hell did she find out?"

"It gets worse Tank. Three weeks ago Ana showed up here and told me we have a son."

"Holy Shit!" Tank exclaimed.

"You're telling me," Ranger said dryly.

"Are you sure? Did you have a DNA test?"

"Yeah. That's what Steph found in my office."

"Why the hell didn't you tell her? How could you let her find out like that? Damn, Ranger, I'm trying not to want to beat the shit out of you right now, but I can only imagine the hurt Bomber is feeling right now. I think the choice you made on that mission was wrong, but I can almost understand why you did it. But how could you keep up the lies? You had to know it was going to come out. Why didn't you tell her?"

"I don't know Tank. Honestly, I hoped and prayed for the last year and a half that Steph would never find out about what happened. And really, it didn't seem like there was any way she would. I know it sounds terrible Tank. But I really didn't want to hurt her, and I didn't think she'd understand. I felt disgusted with what I had done. Then when Ana showed up, I was absolutely floored. And I really didn't believe it was my kid. I used a condom. I don't know how this happened. I only got the DNA results the day before yesterday. I didn't know what I was going to do. I was still trying to wrap my mind around the whole thing. Hell, I'm still in shock. I can't believe this is happening."

"What are you going to do now? What about Steph, where does she stand?"

"I have no idea what to do. Steph says she can't forgive me. She left me. Said she'll get her stuff in the next few days. I can't face this without her. I need her. Now more than ever. What the hell am I going to do?" Ranger lamented.

"Don't even start Ranger. Don't start feeling sorry for yourself. Don't start thinking about what you need and how hard this situation is on you. You might be my friend Ranger, but you made a real ass out of yourself here. Steph gave up everything to become a part of your life Ranger, and when she did she became a part of our lives too. I have no idea how you're going to fix this, but you better figure it out, man. If you don't you stand to lose a lot more than just your woman."

Tank stood up and stalked out of the gym, slamming the door behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Usually disclaimers: I don't own anything and I'm certainly not getting rich. Thank you so much for all of the wonderful reviews! I really enjoy hearing what everyone thinks and ideas for where the story should go. Keep 'em coming!**

_**Previously**_

"_What are you going to do now? What about Steph, where does she stand?"_

"_I have no idea what to do. Steph says she can't forgive me. She left me. Said she'll get her stuff in the next few days. I can't face this without her. I need her. Now more than ever. What the hell am I going to do?" Ranger lamented._

"_Don't even start Ranger. Don't start feeling sorry for yourself. Don't start thinking about what you need and how hard this situation is on you. You might be my friend Ranger, but you made a real ass out of yourself here. Steph gave up everything to become a part of your life Ranger, and when she did she became a part of our lives too. I have no idea how you're going to fix this, but you better figure it out, man. If you don't you stand to lose a lot more than just your woman."_

_Tank stood up and stalked out of the gym, slamming the door behind him._

5 days later…

I was sitting out on the Beach watching the waves roll in, sitting in the same spot I sat in yesterday and the day before and the day before that. Luckily it was the off season and there were very few people at the beach. I'd had a lot of time to think, and it actually did help. You know, in a way there was something almost liberating about experiencing the worst thing you could possibly imagine happening. One of the reasons I resisted my feelings for Ranger so long is because I knew they were so strong, if things went badly between us I was scared I would never recover. Well, I couldn't even dream up something as bad as the situation we were in, and as god awful as this felt, I knew I was going to survive it. Because that's who I am. I'm a fighter. And I figure if I can get through this, then it means there isn't a damn thing that life can't throw at me that I can't get through. There was some comfort in that. And maybe a little bit of pride too.

I knew he was there even before looking behind me. I could always feel when he was near. I'm almost surprised I could still feel the familiar tingle, given everything. I didn't bother to turn around, I knew he'd find his way to me eventually. Thirty minutes later he sunk down in the sand next me, forearms resting on his bent knees, mirroring my position.

"I'm surprised you didn't find me sooner."

"I knew where you were the whole time. I just thought you needed some time to yourself. "

"Yeah, I figured you'd be out searching for me the minute you realized I didn't want to be found."

"I didn't have to search. I know you. I knew this was where you would be. Tank, he searched for you. Tore the town apart for a day and a half looking for you."

I snorted. "If Tank puts his mind to finding someone, it rarely takes him more than a couple hours. I doubt I was the exception."

"You underestimate yourself. You ditched all your trackers, left your phone and didn't make any calls from it that would give him a lead. Only used cash, no hits on your bank or credit cards."

"So what was my undoing?" I asked. Strangely this small talk was working for us. I don't think either of us was ready to tackle the bigger issues just yet.

"You maybe should have bought the phone a bit further away from the ATM you used. Once he figured out that would be your next step, your store was the eighth one he tried. If you had gone all the way across town he might still be at it. Oh and so you know, Mooner held out for an impressive amount of time. But Tank can be very persuasive. It was good you didn't tell him where you were going, gave Tank a little more challenge. Once he had the make and model of your vehicle, he had pretty much the entire state looking for it. You were spotted when you came back to get more money out of the ATM. Manny and Cal followed you here. I liked your idea though, if you hadn't been spotted, he probably would have thought you were staying in Trenton and focused his search there. I convinced him to give you a few more days. I thought we better respect your privacy."

"Good to know I didn't make it easy on him. And thanks…for the time. I did need it" I said, slowly letting out a breath. I had a feeling the friendly banter was coming to a close.

"So how are you, Steph? Really?"

"Doing pretty well, considering 5 days ago I had the rug pulled out from under me."

"I'm so sorry. I can't tell you enough how much I regret this. It's killing me. Just tell me what to do or what to say to fix this."

"Ranger, just stop. Look, I've had a lot of time to think about this and I really have tried to find a way to forgive you and get past this. But I just can't. It's not going to happen. And I'm not going to put either one of us through the torture of having false hope. I've accepted that what we had is over. And now you need to accept it too." I thought I was all done crying over this, but I could feel the tears prickling at the back of my eyes.

"Babe, I understand what you are saying. I have no right to ask you to forgive me. And if you never do, then I will have to find a way to live with that, even though I have no idea how I can live without you. But I love you with all of my heart. That is not going to change. I believe in us, and I will always have hope that someday I can repair the damage I've done. But even if that never happens, I hope that you will still allow me to be in your life, even if it's just as a friend. "

"I don't know if I can do that. It's just too painful, Ranger."

"I understand if you need your space. And I will try to give that to you. But what about at work, we will have to see each other sometimes."

"Ranger" I started. I didn't know how to tell him that I had pretty much decided I wasn't coming back to Rangeman. I had my head down, Ranger lifted my head with his fingers under my chin. Even just that small contact shot sparks straight to my heart. God help me, I still love him. I keep thinking I should hate him but I don't. And that's why I can't be with him. Because I love him but I don't forgive him, and I would never trust him again. If we tried to repair our relationship it would never be the same. We would probably end up hating each other. And that I just couldn't live with.

"Stephanie, you have to come back to Rangeman. You love working there. Please don't let my screw up take that away from you. You're good at your job, you're an asset to the team. And the guys love you and miss you. They would never forgive me if I drove you away from them too."

"I don't know Ranger. Those are your friends not mine-"

"You're wrong about that. Believe me. I'm pretty sure Lester already arranged to have 'Team Stephanie" shirts made for all the guys."

"Oh great," I groaned, "So all of the guys know?" I rubbed my temples, I felt a headache coming on.

"No, only Tank knows, but I'm going to have to tell Bobby and Lester soon. All the guys know something is wrong because you're not there, but they don't know what." I had put my head down again, not wanting to think about the embarrassment I would feel when everyone found out. "Steph, look at me," Ranger pleaded. "Don't think for one minute that you have anything to be embarrassed about. I did this, I'm the one who should be embarrassed not you. You are amazing Stephanie, I have never and will never love anyone the way I love you. I no one will ever touch my life the way you have, nor would I want anyone too. I did a terrible thing, but it wasn't for one second because I wanted to be with someone else. I thought at the time I was doing it for us, so that we could have our someday. I am only now beginning to understand just how wrong that line of thinking was. There's no excuse for what I did, but I need to know that you don't think that decision was in any way a reflection on you."

Damn Batman and his ESP, it was like he was in my head sometimes. Right now I didn't like it very much.

"Do you believe me?" Ranger asked, staring at me intently, trying to read my answer in my eyes.

"You have no right to tell me how I'm supposed to feel," I snapped at him looking away. After a few moments of tense silence, I said, "I will think about what you are saying, but I have to work this out in my own time."

"I understand. I don't want to push you into anything. If you really don't want to come back to Rangeman then you should do what makes you happy. I just don't want you to lose anything else because of me."

I sighed, "Truth is, I do like my work, but I don't know… how's this going to work? Will I have to see her? What are you going to do about the baby Ranger?"

"Steph, I hope you know I would never put you in that situation. She's not going to be anywhere near Rangeman. As far as what I'm going to do about the baby, I'm not entirely sure yet. There are still things that don't add up, it feels like something is off. But if this is my child, I will take responsibility."

"You're still not convinced? You have the DNA test."

"I know, it looks like the child is mine, but I want another DNA test, done by our private lab. I don't have this all figured out yet. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time."

"Yeah, I can relate to that. Okay, I will come back to work. At least I'll give it a shot. One day at a time. We'll see if works out."

"Have you given any thought to where you want to live?"

"I guess I'll find an apartment."

"Babe I just want to throw this out there, but your employment comes with a housing package. There's an empty apartment on four."

"No way, that's just like still living with you."

"I told you I would give you space and I meant it. I almost never even go down to four. It's your choice, I just thought with everything happening so fast, maybe it would give you some time to figure out what your next move is. The apartment is available if you want it for a day, a week, a month, or forever. Your call."

I almost wanted to smile. Batman was purposely giving me choices, because he knew if he pushed me I would automatically reject whatever he was trying to get me to do. The thing is, I had no idea where I was going to live, and staying on four might not be a bad idea for at least a little while. The idea of apartment hunting and trying to figure out what I would do for furniture and everything was a little overwhelming at the moment.

"I guess I could stay on four for a little while. Just until I find another place." Did he think I couldn't see that smile he was trying to hide? So much for the blank face. I rolled my eyes.

Ranger stood and offered me his hand, "Ready to get back to Trenton?"

I stood up purposely ignoring his outstretched hand and brushed the sand off the back of my legs. "Ready as I'll ever be, I guess."

RPOV

Normally I'm a master of not showing my emotions, but I was having a ridiculously hard time concealing my desire to smile. I had absolutely no intentions of letting my woman go without a fight. If she needed space I would give it to her, but as long as she still worked at Rangeman and lived in the building I knew I would have a chance to make this better, to remind her of why she fell in love with me in the first place and to earn her trust back. I was pushing it when I held my hand out to her. I wasn't surprised at all when she didn't take it, but hey, can't fault a guy for trying.

I didn't become the man I am today by backing down from a challenge. I'm pretty sure earning Steph's forgiveness is going to be the biggest challenge yet, but I was up for it. And I wasn't going to give up until she was back in my arms.

I also needed to figure out what I was going to do about Ana and the baby. My instincts were telling me there was more to this situation than meets the eye. And I would get to the bottom of this. Count on it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all your reviews, I tried to respond to all of them, but if I missed you I'm sorry! I really appreciate everyone's comments and encouragement. I have been posting once a week but I will try to get the next chapter up sooner for you!**

**Usual disclaimers: I own nothing, I make nothing.**

A week later, I leaned back in my chair and stretched my arms behind my head. I couldn't stifle a huge yawn. It was 4:30 and I was debating cutting out half an hour early so I could sneak back to my apartment and fall into bed. I hadn't been sleeping well and it was really starting to catch up with me. But it was more important to me that I maintain my professionalism at work. Leaving early was something the boss's girlfriend could get away with, and I was no longer the boss's girlfriend.

Ranger had kept true to his word and given me space. In fact, shortly after we returned from the shore he had to leave for Miami and I haven't seen him since. So how messed up is it that even though I'm the one who told him we were done, and I really meant it, now I'm lying awake every night imagining that he's down in Miami with _her_. And it's tearing me up inside. I wish I could just stop caring. I mean, they have a child together and if they want to be a family, well how can I begrudge a child the right to a happy family? What kind of person am I that I don't want them to be happy together?

All of these thoughts in my head were making it so much harder to figure out what my next step should be. On the one hand, maybe leaving Rangeman and putting all of this behind me would give me some peace. Maybe staying here was just continuing to punish myself. On the other hand, the only happiness I've had since coming back has been hanging out with the guys and my work. I was so worried that the guys would treat me differently or look at me with pity, but that hasn't been the case at all. Although no one has asked me about it, everyone knows I am living on the fourth floor, so it's pretty obvious that Ranger and I aren't together anymore. If anything, I think the guys have been even more friendly to me lately, like they're more comfortable around me now. We've all gone to Shorty's together a couple of nights this week already.

Another complication was that outside of this building almost no one was aware things had changed. I have to admit that having the whole burg gossiping about a break-up between Ranger and I fell on my list of tortures I hope I never have to experience somewhere between water boarding and having my finger nails ripped off one by one. I have given a lot of thought to what Ranger said when we were at the beach, and in my head I know it wasn't my fault, that he didn't cheat because of something I did or didn't do. But convincing my heart of that… well, that's another thing entirely. And what's worse is that I know my family and friends in the burg will never see it that way. If people never find out about the baby, they will just think Ranger got tired of me and kicked me out. Joe will have a field day with the "I told you so's". My mother will go on and on and on about how I've ruined my last chance at happiness. The Joyce Barnhardts of the Burg who are always waiting for the next big Stephanie Plum failure will be tripping over themselves to one up each other's snide comments every time they see me. The only thing worse than all of that is if (or maybe it's when) everyone finds out that Ranger fathered a child with another woman while we were together. Let's face it, one very public case of infidelity in a woman's life is bad for her reputation, but two… that's damage beyond repair. First Dickie, then Ranger, and even if it's not proven fact, everyone believes Joe was screwing around with Terri the entire time we were together too. Crap, now this line of thinking is really depressing. When you lay it out like that, the fact that more than likely all of them cheated on me, well, it's pretty hard _not_ to believe that the problem is me.

And now I feel even more guilty because I can't help but hope that no one finds out. How wrong is that, I should be hoping that Ranger actually decides to step up and be an active part of this child's life because that's the right thing to do. And truthfully, I do hope that too. I actually have this secret day dream that Ranger decides to move to Miami and he can do the right thing by his son and make my life infinitely easier all at the same time. But if Ranger stays in Trenton, I don't want everyone to find out. And I know that almost no one knew about Julie before the Scrog incident, so it's not so farfetched to think that it will be the same with this child. But I know Ranger, probably better than anyone, and he has changed in the last few years. I don't think he will make the same decision this time around.

I wanted to tell myself that no matter what, I wasn't going to run this time. I wasn't going to bury my head in the sand. I was going to hold my ground and be strong and resilient. But if the happy little family comes to live in Trenton, I don't have a chance in hell at happiness. I will almost certainly have to leave and make a life somewhere else because there won't be anywhere I can go that people won't be whispering about how Stephanie Plum can't keep her men in her bed and out of everyone else's.

I looked down at the clock and realized I had wasted 20 minutes with my little one woman pity party. Suddenly even though I was tired I didn't want to go sit in my apartment alone feeling sorry for myself. I decided to call Lula and see if she wanted to meet me at Pino's for a bite to eat. Lula didn't know exactly what was going on, but Tank must have told her that something was up because she called me while I was in Point Pleasant and left me a message, saying only that she would listen if I wanted to talk, lend a shoulder if I wanted to cry, provide the tequila if I wanted to get drunk, and if all else fails "bust a cap in batman's ass" if it would make me feel better. I smiled thinking about the message. I had saved it and listened to it a few more times when I was feeling down. It's good to know you have friends. Especially friends who will bust a cap in someone's ass for you.

Just as I was dialing Lula, I felt a hand settle on my shoulder and nearly jumped 3 feet in the air.

"Whoa, Beautiful, why so jumpy," Lester asked me with a smile.

"Jesus Lester, make some noise next time! You scared the crap out of me!" I said, still feeling my heart pounding in my chest.

"Sorry, I just wanted to stop by and see if you wanted to grab something to eat with me after work."

"Well, I guess I could but I was just about to call Lula and see if she wanted to meet up. Would it be okay if I invite her? Maybe Tank would like to come too." Okay, so subtlety wasn't my strong point, but it had become increasingly obvious that Tank and Lula still had a thing for each other, and I wasn't opposed to giving them a little nudge in the right direction, which was back towards each other.

"Sure beautiful," Just then Lester's cell rang and he unclipped it from his belt and answered. It was a short conversation, he said less than 5 words and of course one of them wasn't "Goodbye".

"There's someone downstairs for me, and you have a package at the front desk. Let's head down together and then we can head out from there. We can call Tank and Lula on the way."

I powered down my computer and we headed to the elevator. I was teasing Lester on the way down about which of his many girlfriends had tracked him down and come to see him, so we were laughing when the elevator doors opened onto the first floor lobby. Lester stepped off before me so he didn't notice when the laughter died on my lips.

I knew who she was even before I heard Lester greet her by her name. She was about as tall as me, but definitely thinner and more toned. She had beautiful exotic Latina features, perfect olive skin, shiny long straight hair that looked like it had never seen a day of frizz. And in her arms was a little baby with skin the color of mocha latte and a set of big brown eyes I would recognize anywhere. I had known this woman and this child existed for almost two weeks now, and yet somehow I was completely unprepared to be faced with them in person.

"Hey Ana, long time no see," Lester exclaimed moving to hug her, but then stopping short and moving his eyes to the baby in her arms. "Whoa! Is that yours? When did you have a baby?"

Ana laughed this annoyingly demure little giggle and said, "Les, I'd like you to meet little Ricky. He'll be three months on the 21st. And yes he's mine." She said with another little giggle.

"Well, hey little man," Lester said offering his finger to the little boy who wrapped his whole hand around Lester's finger.

For the first thirty seconds after stepping off the elevator, I was in complete shock and couldn't have moved or spoken if I had tried. Now that I had regained some of my senses, I thought about turning around and bolting, but I didn't want to look like a fool in front of this woman. She was, after all, on my turf. Or at least I hoped it was still my turf. She might be holding the keys to the building and everything in it, including Ranger, in her arms right now. God, I have to stop thinking like that. She holding an innocent little baby, she's holding Ranger's baby. With that my heart softened a little bit and as sad as this baby's existence had made me, there was a little part of me that had to love this baby, because he was a part of Ranger. And even if Ranger and I were over for good, I would always love him.

"Hey, Steph, come here, I want to introduce you to someone I used to work with, Ana Rivera meet Stephanie Plum." Neither of us offered our hands, we just nodded and sent a polite fake smile.

"One of your latest girlfriends, Lester?" Ana asked with her polite fake smile glued to her face. I had no doubt she knew exactly who I was, the way she was looking at me.

Lester laughed, "Oh no, Bomber here is Ra-" Lester stopped short and looked at me clearly at a loss for words. Two weeks ago I was Ranger's woman. Although he obviously doesn't know the details, Lester is aware that I moved out of the seventh floor. Now he doesn't know how to introduce me.

"I work at Rangeman." I offered.

"I'm sure you do." Ana replied with a look that made clear exactly what kind of work she thought was included in my job description. I was hanging on by thread, one more snotty comment or look and this bitch was going down. Think Lester will hold the baby while I kick her ass?

"So, Ana, what brings you here?" Lester asked nervously, picking up on the tension in the room.

"Well, I stopped by to see Ranger but it sounds like I beat him here. We didn't get the same flight back from Miami, but I thought he'd be here by now. I figured while I wait for him I could catch up with you."

So they were in Miami together. This just gets better and better.

"Sorry, Ana, Steph and I had plans, we were just about to head out."

"Oh well, I wouldn't want to interrupt your _date_ or anything, I will just come back later." Ana said with a smirk.

"No, that's okay. Actually, Lester I just realized that I promised my grandmother I would stop by tonight. We can grab dinner another night." With that I turned and walked as quickly as I could towards the stairs. As the stairwell door shut behind me I could hear Lester call out for me to wait for him, but I was already barreling down the stairs. I grabbed the keys to a bronco and tore out of the garage like the devil herself was on my tail. And the way my spidey sense was going off after that little encounter, maybe she was.

**Okay, don't hate me for bringing Ana to town, the witch will get hers, trust me! Hit the little review button and tell me what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone! Sorry I didn't get this up sooner. It seems like Sunday night is my night for posting. I didn't have time this week to respond to everyone's reviews individually, but I read them all and each and every one of them means so much to me! Thank you all so much for taking the time to review, and please keep the comments, questions, suggestions, and whatever coming. I have most of this story already mapped out in my head but I love hearing all of your ideas anyway. Hope you enjoy the chapter…**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, I make nothing.**

**RPOV**

I was driving back to Haywood from Newark Airport and I was in a shitty mood. I'd spent the last week in Miami handling a legal issue with an employee and trying to get more information on this situation with Ana.

My first stop after leaving Trenton a week ago was to stop in DC and meet with my handler. I had too many unanswered questions about the outcome of my last mission. I was able to find out that after I had intercepted the information from Ana, the agents following her to the drop with her buyers botched the mission and missed the hand off. Her middle-eastern contacts were never caught, and without blowing my cover and admitting evidence of the switch, she couldn't be brought to trial. Even with that evidence the case was weak without proof of the handoff. At least sensitive state secrets hadn't fallen into the wrong hands, but it's more than a little hard to feel good about that given my role in the situation. In the mean time, Ana's movements are being watched like a hawk. They're just waiting for her to slip up.

She's been on leave from her active contract since the beginning of her pregnancy. That was one of the few good things that came out of my stop in D.C., I got the name of the OB/GYN Ana was seeing from her military medical records. I should have her full medical file before the week is out. I'm not exactly one to let a little thing like privacy policies or HIPPA stand in my way.

When I was down in Miami I had another DNA sample taken and sent through our private lab and I should be getting the results back any day now. Ana wasn't terribly happy about me demanding another test through my own lab, but I don't particularly care if she got her feelings hurt, and she wasn't going to stand in my way. When Ana brought the baby to have the DNA sample collected at the Miami office, I held the baby that could be my son for the first time. I can't even describe how conflicting it was. On the one hand, I'm hoping against hope that the test will come back saying the baby isn't mine, on the other hand, I was ashamed to think that this could be my son and I'm wishing he wasn't.

I was getting the feeling from Ana that she had been under the very misguided impression that there was a chance something might happen between her and I. I made sure to set that straight right away. I told her in no uncertain terms that there was someone else in my life now and the only possible relationship that would ever exist between her and I would be as co-parents. After that she tried to come by Rangeman a couple of times but luckily I was kept so busy with my business problem I wasn't even there. One of the skips we brought in last month is suing us on the grounds of excessive force. Apparently, he didn't much like having his face rearranged on the concrete after we lured him out of a bar. I'm pretty confident that the suit will be dismissed, but I wanted to handle our internal investigation myself and meet with the lawyers. I barely squeezed in enough time to have dinner with Julie a couple of times.

Finally I was back in Trenton and headed home. It's going to be so hard living in the same building with Steph and not having her in my arms every night, but I am so glad she decided to stay at Rangeman. I have been trying to give her space like she asked, but I wanted to see her and talk to her so bad it was killing me.

As I turned the corner onto Haywood I saw Stephanie driving out of the garage like a bat out of hell. I was very tempted to turn the turbo around and follow her, but that seemed pretty contrary to my promise to give her space. With a great deal of will power I managed to continue into the garage and park. As I was getting out Lester walked over.

"Did you see which way Bomber went?" he asked.

"East on Haywood. Explain." What the hell is going on here?

"I don't know Ranger. Steph and I were going to grab dinner at Shorty's. We stopped in the lobby because someone was here to see me. Well, see you actually. But then Steph made a lame excuse about needing to go see her grandmother and ran out of here. I don't get it."

_Shit. There's no way she actually got on a plane and flew up here. Please don't let her be the visitor._ "Who was here to see me?"

"Oh, yeah, you'll never believe it. Ana Rivera's here. And she's got a baby now!" _Fuck._

_Fuck. Fuck .Fuck._

"Is she still here?" I asked barely containing my anger. I could feel the muscle in my jaw twitching and I couldn't seem to calm myself.

Lester was looking completely confused and more than a little bit scared. "Yeah, I think she's still in the lobby."

I made my way to the stairs and took them two at a time up to the lobby. I slammed the stairwell door open so hard the handle on the other side of the door went through the drywall behind it.

"What. The hell. Are you doing here?" I asked Ana, seething with anger. So much for my legendary control.

"Little Ricky wanted to come visit his daddy," Ana replied with a smile on her face, acting as though she was totally oblivious to how angry I was.

"What the-" _Dios. _ I hadn't even realized Lester had followed me back up the stairs. He was looking from me to the baby to Ana with his mouth gaping open and his eyes wide with shock.

I grabbed Ana by the elbow of the arm she wasn't using to hold the baby and led her into a small conference room on the first floor. Slamming the door closed behind her I walked in the room and put my hands flat on the table in front of me, looking down trying to get my breathing under control. When I felt like I could look at her without strangling her, I turned to face her. At least she had the decency to look a little bit apprehensive now.

My eyes fell on Ricky and I worked harder t get myself under control. The baby didn't deserve to be subjected to my anger at the situation.

"Ana, Why would you come here?" I asked her, keeping my voice even.

"Well, Ranger," Ana said, her irritation now coming thru, "You barely spent 5 minutes with your son in Miami. If this is where you're going to live, I figured I'm going to have to be the one to bring Ricky here to see you. I guess I also thought you'd have the results of that DNA test you wanted and maybe you'd be ready to face the fact that this really is your child. Ranger, our son needs a father and you're the only one he's got. Are you going to be a part of his life or not?"

"First of all, Ana, I don't have those DNA test results back yet. I don't think it's unreasonable that before I make any decisions about what my role in this child's life will be I want to confirm with certainty that it is in fact my child. I am aware of your opinion on my misgivings about the paternity, but as we only had sex once and used protection, you should not be surprised by my skepticism. Ana, you had nine months to prepare for and adjust to this baby. I've had only a few weeks. You chose to keep your pregnancy a secret, for reasons still unclear to me. Forcing this situation into my life in a way that will clearly displease me is not going to make this situation better for either of us, and it's not in the best interest of Ricky."

"Look Ranger, I didn't tell you about the pregnancy because I figured you wouldn't exactly be receptive to having a child. I wanted this baby Ranger, and I wasn't going to let you bully me into having an abortion. I already told you I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. I should have, but I thought it would be better to do this on my own. I've realized now that I was being selfish and unfair to both you and Ricky. I am trying to fix that now." Ana stepped towards me and put a hand on my arm.

"Ranger, we used to work well together. We had fun together. Why does it have to be this way now? I'm not asking you to marry me, but we were good together. And we made Ricky together. Why can't you just relax and enjoy having a son and a woman who cares about you?" She was looking up at me through lowered lashes, and I wasn't falling for a second of it. I carefully removed her arm and took a deliberately wide step backwards putting space between us.

"Ana, I'm not in the least fooled by these games you're playing. You have a convenient excuse for it all, but I have no intentions of forgetting the decisions you've made without any consideration for my role in this child's life. And now suddenly you want to show up here and have me play Daddy Dearest in your little family fantasyland. It's not going to happen. As far as having a woman who cares about me, I absolutely had one and it wasn't you. And I have no intentions of letting her go. I explained all this to you. Whatever my role in this child's life will be, there will be _nothing_ between you and I. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

"Crystal," Ana replied in a clipped voice.

"Now, the financial arrangements I made for you last week in Miami were more than generous. I will call you as soon as I have the results of the DNA test and we can work out the rest."

"Fine." Ana said tersely and turned to walk out of the room.

"Ana," I said in a voice I usually reserved for men under my command who needed a reprimand, "One more thing. You need to understand that you are not welcome here at Rangeman. At any of my offices, but particularly Trenton. I trust you know why. Do not make me remind you again, it won't be pretty."

With that I opened the door for her and held it, waiting for her to show herself out. As she walked past me my attention was again focused on the baby in her arms, and again I felt like a complete asshole. I just couldn't entertain any personal attachment to this child until I knew for sure he was mine. And even then I still had no idea how to handle the situation. There is no room in my life for a child. My life is dangerous and rigid. But I am not the same man I was when Julie was born. I'm not sure if I can cut myself off from another child. I look at Julie's life and even though I think her step-dad Ron has done a great job, sometimes I wonder if I should have done things differently. Julie is happy now and I can't go back, so I try not to think about it too often, but finding myself in the same situation again, well, it's very confusing.

One thing I wasn't confused about was Steph. I had to get her back. I needed her in my life. It would be great if I could convince her to take me back today so that she could help me make decisions on how to handle this. I really can't afford to make any choices that she won't want to live with, so I will have to try to handle this the way she would want me to. But just how the hell was I supposed to figure out how that would be? It's not like that's a conversation we thought to have when we were together. _So, Babe, hypothetically speaking if I ever accidently knock-up someone while we're together, exactly how much contact do you think I should have with this hypothetical child? _Yeah, that would have gone over well.

I was pulled from my thoughts by the sound of the front entrance closing behind Ana. I was really losing my edge when it came to being aware of my surroundings. Walking out of the conference room I was greeted with one furious looking Lester. Clearly he had been putting his powers of deductive reasoning to use. Not that it would take a rocket scientist given what he just saw and heard to figure out what was going on. He looked like he wanted to start taking me apart limb from limb.

"Before you start throwing punches, get Bobby and Tank and meet me in my office in ten. We have some things to discuss."

**LPOV**

After Ranger had brought all of us up to speed on the situation, the desire to murder him was slightly lessened, but only slightly. We had all sat back and watched Ranger jerk her around for years, but he made it clear from day one she was his woman, so what could we do? But then he finally gets his head out of his ass, gets the girl, and then he gets another woman pregnant? What the hell?

"So what are you going to do now?" I asked Ranger.

"In the next couple of days I will get the DNA results and the medical records. Bobby, I will need your help going over them looking for inconsistencies. Tank, I need you to start calling in every contact we have. I want to know everything Ana was up to this last year. Where she was, what she did, financials, if she so much as jay walked I want to know it. I haven't figured it out, but something just feels off about this whole thing."

"Maybe it just feels off because you want the problem to just go away like it always does for you, Ranger." I never was very good at keeping my mouth shut. Wonder what third world country I would wake up in tomorrow?

"Watch yourself Lester. You're pissed, I get it. Rein it in, we need to focus. I have considered I might be biased here, but I don't believe that's it. Let's get the information and go from there. I need my core team's help on this one. Are you guys with me?"

"Ranger, you're my friend and my boss. It's not my place to judge you. I'm there for you whatever you need. But I also love Steph like a sister. And this has to be tearing her up. Whatever I can do to help either one of you, I'll do." Bobby added.

Ranger was already looking at me for my response, while I sat clenching and unclenching my fists. I wanted to tell him he was a bastard who didn't deserve my help, but I was trying to keep my mouth shut and not say anything that would permanently damage our friendship or my employment.

Tank spoke softly, "I've already told you how I feel Ranger. Just fix this." With that he got up motioning for Bobby to follow and they both left the room.

I got up to leave behind them when Ranger spoke softly, "Lester? I need you on this one."

"Ranger, we've been friends for 15 years, through a lot of shit. I don't even know what to say to you right now. I'll help on this one, but only because it seems like the right thing to do, not because I want to help you. I have to go find Bomber," I said looking back at Ranger. I could tell he wanted to go after her himself but we both knew that was a bad idea. "Don't even think about it, Ranger. Not your place anymore."

**Next Chapter: Lester goes after Steph and… well, you'll see when I post it! Haha. Sorry I am working on it! Reviews make me type faster **


	6. Chapter 6

**I know I have been MIA an inexcusably long time. I have no good excuses other than I just couldn't seem to get in the right frame of mind lately to write. I promise I will try to do better. Also, if anyone is interested I could use a beta to help me edit and send me threatening emails if I go too long without writing anything (kidding… kind of… not really). I really had to force this chapter out so I really hope it's up to par. As always I own nothing and make nothing.**

LPOV

I walked into the seedy bar off of Route 1 and my attention was immediately drawn to the curly haired brunette resting her head against her forearm at the bar. She sat in a barstool with her head turned away from me, listening to some cheesy line, I'm sure, from the guy standing over her, hand on the back of her chair, bent close to her, no doubt thinking he was going to get lucky tonight. _Over my dead body._

I stalked up to the guy and tapped him hard on the shoulder. "She's with me, pal"

"I ain't your pal, and it doesn't look to me like the lady here is with anyone at all right now but me," Was the reply I got from Dumbfuck (that's what I had decided must be his name). I was debating whether to try one more time to warn the guy off or just start beating the shit out of him, and I was leaning towards the latter when Steph interrupted my internal debate.

"Lessssster! What you doing (hiccup) here? (hiccup)"she managed to slur out. Damn, Bombshell was seriously wasted.

"I'm your ride home, Bomber. Come on, let's get going."

"But I don't wanna (hiccup) go home," she whined.

"Looks to me like the lady is staying, _Pal_." Wow Dumbfuck really wanted to get his ass kicked tonight. But once again, Stephanie's interruption saved this guy from some major reconstructive surgery to his face.

"Hey, that's not nice. Don't talk to my friend Lester like that!" Stephanie stood up and nearly lost her balance but I caught her, righting her before she took a major spill and landed flat on her ass.

'Come on, Steph, let's just go home," I said gently.

"But I'm having fun, Les. I want another margarita. Have a margarita with me. Please, Les," Steph said in a breathy voice, looking up at me through lowered lashes. _Oh, shit. _If the tightening of my pants was any indication, I was in trouble.

"Come on Steph, let's go back to Haywood and I'll make you a margarita at my place." Crap I can't believe that just came out my mouth. I had just meant it as a way to get her out of the bar, I had no intentions of really giving her anymore alcohol. But judging by the goofy grin that spread across Steph's face, she was thinking it was an invitation for a lot more than just a drink.

"Alright Les (hiccup)." Steph giggled as she reached for her coat and then had trouble getting her arms in the sleeves. I helped her get her jacket on and guided her to the car with an arm around her waist. She was swaying and stumbling with nearly every step. I felt relieved because I was sure she would pass out in the car on the ride home.

No such luck. But thankfully she stayed pretty occupied flipping through the radio and belting out the chorus to all the songs she knew. I pulled into the garage and walked around the passenger side of the car to help Stephanie out. She was already getting out of the car but stumbled again and I caught her, wrapping her in my arms.

"Thanks." She said almost in a whisper. Looking down into the bluest eyes I'd ever seen it took everything I had not to kiss her then.

_Ranger's woman. Ranger's woman. Ranger's woman._

I kept chanting those words over and over in my head, hoping that it would give me the self control to get her upstairs and into bed. Her own bed. Alone.

I somehow managed the will power to shift from holding her in my arms to just offering a supportive arm around her waist and leading her to the elevator. As we waited for the elevator I heard the garage security camera rotate in our direction. Ranger was watching. It reminded me that he was the one who had put her in this state. Bomber had gone out and gotten drunk to try and dull the hurt Ranger had caused. I had the sudden urge to flip off the camera and send Ranger a little message, but it probably wasn't the best idea. I got away with a lot more shit than the rest of the guys when it came to Ranger, but even I might not survive baiting him given the current situation.

Stephanie and I stepped onto the elevator and she melted into me resting her head on my shoulder. God, she felt good. Ranger was such an idiot to screw this up. The little devil voice in my head was suggesting that maybe Ranger's screw up could be my good fortune, while the sensible part of my brain was telling me to even think along those lines was wrong. Hell, she seemed to be crashing, maybe she would just go to bed.

She was so out of it she didn't even notice that I led her to her apartment and not mine until we were in the living room.

"Hey, I thought we were going to your place for margaritas?" Steph asked, stripping off her jacket and kicking off her shoes. She curled her feet under her and sat on the couch.

"How about I make us some coffee instead, Beautiful? I think you're good on the margaritas for now."

"Fine," Steph said with a pout. "But you owe me a margarita some other time, Mister."

I threw her a look over my shoulder from the kitchen and smiled before getting back to filling the coffee pot. _Don't have to tell me twice, _I thought but didn't say.

When the coffee pot was set and started percolating, I headed into the living room to sit with Stephanie. I really didn't want to get into her and the boss's personal life, but I was really worried about her. I know she couldn't talk to any of her friends in the burg about this situation, and she hadn't said a word to any of the other guys. Even us tough Rangemen sometimes need a friend to talk to, and Bomber was usually such an open person, it must be killing her to have to keep this bottled up. Before I could figure out what I was supposed to say to her to start _that_ conversation, she beat me to it.

"Lester," She said quietly, "How well do you know Ana?"

Shit. Thirty seconds ago I was sitting here trying to think of a way to bring up this very subject to her, yet when she brings it up I'm tempted to bolt out the door and keep running until I hit the Atlantic.

"Well, uh…" I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. She deserved answers. She needed someone to talk to, and I was honored that I got to be that person. I just hope I didn't screw it up. "We've worked with her a few times in the past. It's been a while since I've seen her, probably two years. She's good at what she does, beyond that I can't really tell you much."

"Do you think she's a good person, Les?"

I have no idea how to answer that. What makes someone a good person? She didn't hold a candle to Bomber, as far as I was concerned, but I wasn't sure if making the comparison would make Steph feel better or worse. Was this one of those trick questions that women ask like, "Does this dress make me look fat"?

I guess I took too long to respond, because Stephanie sighed and leaned back into the couch saying, "Nevermind. That was a stupid question."

"It's not stupid, Steph. I think it's pretty normal to be curious about her given the situation. I just didn't know how to answer your question."

Stephanie's eyes widened and she looked at me in surprise. I guess in her inebriated state she hadn't figured out yet that I knew what was going on.

"Ranger pulled in just after you flew out of the garage. There were some fireworks when he found out she was here. I got filled in on the basics."

Her eyes looked watery, like she was trying not to cry. _Shit, don't cry. I can't take it when women cry._

Then suddenly her eyes took on a whole new quality and she started eyeing me in a way that either made me want to jump for joy or run for the hills, I wasn't sure which yet. Maybe a little of both.

Next thing I knew, Steph was straddling me on the couch. "I don't want to talk anymore."

"Wait. Steph, think about this," I said in a slightly panicked voice.

"I don't want to think anymore either, Les."

With that, her hands slid from my shoulders up my neck until her fingers were curled into my hair and her lips came crashing down on mine. I've always imagined Bomber was a good kisser but this was something else. She kissed me with such a passion and fierceness that I couldn't help but get lost in it. I slid my hands from her hips up under her shirt, resting my hands on her ribs, just below her breasts. She rocked her hips forward and moaned and I was sure she could feel how hard I was.

God, I had thought about doing this for three years, ever since Ranger brought her on that first "redecorating" job as she called it. Shit. Ranger. What the hell was I doing? I pulled back abruptly and lifted her off me. Setting her down next to me on the couch, then jumping up and practically running to the kitchen to put some distance between us. She was drunk and I had almost taken advantage of her. I couldn't believe I had let that happen. Ranger was my best friend and Steph was like a sister to me. Okay, maybe not exactly like a sister, considering the sizable bulge in my pants that I was currently sporting. But hell, twenty minutes ago the girl couldn't stand up on her own and I was halfway on my way to having sex with her. Well, I guess that might be an exaggeration, given that we both had all of our clothes on and we didn't do anything except kiss. But damned if that kiss didn't feel like a sexual experience.

My inner berating was interrupted by the sniffle I heard coming from the living room. I turned to see Bomber with her head buried in her hands, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs. I was by her side the next second with my arm around her shoulders.

"Please don't cry, Beautiful. I'm sorry."

"No I'm the one who's sorry. I can't believe I did that. I'm so embarrassed." Between the inebriation and the crying it was a little hard to understand her words. "I'm such an idiot. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Stephanie," I said in a tone that may have come out harsher than I expected. I didn't take anyone badmouthing Bomber very well, even when she was the one doing it. "Hey, look at me." I tried in a softer tone. "You are _NOT_ an idiot. And if you hadn't had god only knows how many margaritas and if you weren't in love with my best friend, I would have been downright deliriously happy to have carried you into that bedroom and made love to you until the sun came up. You are beautiful, and sexy and amazing in every way. But you are hurting right now and you just want the pain to go away. I understand that, I've been there. But tomorrow morning this will only make you feel worse. And I can't to do that to you. And I can't do that to Ranger either."

Steph looked embarrassed at my compliments, and then I saw a flash of anger when I mentioned Ranger.

"Yeah, we wouldn't want to hurt Ranger's feelings now would we?"

"Stephanie, you have every right to be angry at him, but you have to know that he _is_ hurting right now."

Steph stood and walked towards the kitchen, resting her palms on the counter her back to me. I stood and moved towards the coffee pot. I didn't think I get her to go to sleep anytime soon, might as well get some coffee in her to sober her up.

"I'm not stupid Lester. How hurt can he be, they just spent a couple weeks in Miami together. She's probably moving her stuff up to seven as we speak." She said, the pain evident in her voice.

"I don't think that's too likely," I said with a snort, handing her a cup of coffee with cream and sugar the way she likes it. "Come on, sit down with me. I think there are a few things we should get straight."

Steph reluctantly followed me back over to the couch, sitting as far away from me as possible. Fine by me, I didn't want any temptation at the moment, and I had finally gotten Les Jr to stand down.

"Not only was Ranger surprised that Ana was here, he was downright furious about it. If she hadn't been holding the baby, we might be trying to hide a body right now. I heard enough to know that Ranger made it clear to Ana that she wasn't welcome at Rangeman. And I want to apologize Stephanie, if I had had any idea about the situation… well, I don't know, I just wish I had known and you wouldn't have been put into that situation."

"Les, you didn't know and there's nothing you could have done. I guess I'm going to have to get used to seeing them. I just wish it didn't hurt so damn bad." The bitterness was clear in her voice. I couldn't have been more impressed with this woman. Even some of the most stoic men I know would be a mess in this situation, and she was handling it well, all things considered. She just might have been the strongest person I know, and that was saying a lot given my profession.

"Bomber, I know it hurts, and I would do anything if I could make that hurt go away for you. All I can tell you is that it won't always hurt this bad." I couldn't let her sit on the other side of the couch hurting alone any longer. I moved over to her and put my arms around her gently kissing her soft curls. I was a little afraid of her reaction, but I had to ask. "Have you thought about trying to work it out with him?"

"I just can't Les. I just can't forgive him. You don't understand what this feels like."

"Steph, I'm going to tell you something almost no one knows about me. And it's not exactly something I like to advertise, so I would appreciate it if this story never left this room." I looked in her eyes to make sure she knew I was being serious. She nodded and I continued.

"I wasn't always such a player. When Ranger, Bobby, Tank and I were first in the Army, I had a girl back home. I was so in love with her I couldn't see straight. The guys used to give me such a hard time because I spent all my free time writing to her. Everyone knows in the Rangers that you're gone so much, it's almost impossible to maintain a relationship. But I thought it would be different with Lia and I. Thinking of the life we were going to have together got me through some really rough times. I just knew we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. I knew it was hard for her being alone all those months, but I loved being a Ranger almost as much as I loved being with her and I thought that she loved me enough to put up with it. I was taking her for granted, but at the time I didn't think of it that way. I came back from a particularly rough mission, we had been gone for seven months. I went straight to Lia's. I couldn't wait to see her, but as soon as she opened the door, I knew something was wrong. She looked so sad, and I knew it was over just by the look on her face. That night she told me how much had changed since I'd been gone. I think she needed to try and convince me, make me understand how and why she gave up on us."

I had to pause for a minute to work up the courage to say the next part. It was something I had never told anyone, not even Ranger. Steph remained silent and let me take the time I needed to continue.

"She found out just after I left that she was pregnant. Even though I wrote to her constantly, most of the time I had to save the letters and mail them to her every few months and there really wasn't any way for her to write to me. So I had no idea. We lived in Miami at the time, and about two months after I left was hurricane season. She was on a ladder trying to put up the storm windows, when she fell."

I was trying to keep the emotion out of my voice but Stephanie obviously heard it because she laced her fingers into mine and squeezed my hand.

"She lost the baby. She shouldn't have been on that ladder, I should have been there to do those things for her, instead of halfway around the world playing soldier. After she lost the baby, she was grieving and lonely. One of her neighbors took notice, and starting coming around more. He was a nice guy with a nice safe job as an accountant. She said she didn't mean to, but she fell in love with him. She realized that she and I didn't want the same things. She wanted a safe life with children and a husband who would be home by 6 every night in time for dinner. I would always need the adrenalin rushes, I would never be a 9 to 5 guy and she knew it."

I took a deep breath and continued. "So basically I found out I had everything I had been dreaming about, the woman I loved with a child on the way, and I lost it before I even knew I had it. I was a complete mess for a while after that. I drank way too much and pretty much screwed anything with a pulse. About a year later she got married and they had a baby the year after that. Eventually I realized that it just wasn't meant to be. Sometimes I think if I could do it all again I would have given up doing what I love to be with her. But she's happy now, and you know what? So am I. It's not the life I thought I would have, but I actually love what I do at Rangeman. And even though I'm pretty content to play the field right now, someday I figure I'll either be too old to play urban warfare anymore or maybe I'll get really lucky and find someone like you who can keep up with us Merry Men." I tapped the end of her nose and kissed the top of her head again.

"I know this probably isn't what you want to hear right now Steph, but I care about both you and Ranger and I hate to see the two of you hurting like this. Steph, I know it seems like you can't forgive Ranger right now, and you have every right to feel that way. But after spending the last ten years of my life wondering if it was half as good as it could have been if Lia and I had worked out, I can tell you that if I had come home and she had told me that she was lonely and grieving and made a mistake but that she loved me and was sorry, I would have forgiven her. I wouldn't have given up a lifetime of happiness for anything. But I wasn't given that option. I wish I had been."

"Les, it isn't like I don't want to be with Ranger. But he lied to me for a year!" Stephanie cried, tears streaming down her face.

"Shhh. Don't cry. I know Steph, I know." I pulled her onto my lap and gently rocked her back and forth. "There's no excuse for what Ranger did, it was wrong. It doesn't make it less wrong, but I sort of understand what he was thinking when he did it. Sometimes our training just kicks in and we are trained to get the job done by any means necessary. Ranger doesn't show a lot of emotion Steph, but there are a few things he can't hide. He loves you more than life itself, Beautiful, and he is so sorry for what he did. I know you still love him too. Just think about it. Maybe you will feel differently some day. I just want you two to be happy."

Stephanie was looking like she might pass out any minute. I moved to get up. "It looks like it's your bedtime, Beautiful. I should go."

"Wait. Stay? Please? Just to sleep. I don't want to be alone."

How could I refuse that? I let her lead me into the bedroom and removed my t-shirt and kicked off my boots while Stephanie grabbed a shirt and boxers, heading to the bathroom to change. When she came back I was laying on top of the covers resting against the headboard. Stephanie looked unsure, so I pealed back the corner of the comforter and patted the bed. Steph crawled in and I reached over and turned off the lamp. I pulled Stephanie to me, her back to my front and rested my arm around her waist.

"Thank you," she said softly. "For telling me about Lia. You know if I wasn't still in love with your best friend…" she trailed off letting the sentence hang.

"Same here, Beautiful, same here."

**Okay, I hope it was a decent chapter. I know some of you are going to be disappointed that she didn't get her fling, but I just couldn't see that working out well in the long run. I know this chapter ended up a lot more angsty than I intended, so after this one I'm going to stop wallowing in Steph's pity and we're going to try and lighten it up a bit. Or maybe a lot!**

**Don't forget to review, I love the feedback! And if I have any interested beta's who want to deal with my horribly inconsistent quotation punctuation and crack the whip if I try to go a month without posting a chapter again, PM me.**


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